-Glittering Dream Egg of the Strong-

[alwaysbeenasmiler]

I wanted to use that Fei Fong Wong icon I made for one of the challenge communities (I don't remember what it was, you can find a link to the community at hiraethe however I realized something that shouldn't of surprised me. I am still bitter. I am not going to say that the character was ruined for me, but I've figured out that it's obvious that I still haven't let a lot of things go with my ex-girlfriend. In the deepest darkest part of me, just looking at Fei hurts just a little bit-- The thing is that I can look at Sigurd and be just fine, I can seperate him as a character from that of my ex girlfriend. Fei, however-- there is no seperating it.

Perhaps it is because in Xenogears, I wasn't a big fan of his character. In fact of the lineup, he is my least favorite-- yes I even liked Chu Chu before I really thought of him. Being the main character in a game, that is quite a bit to dislike, and yes I had my favorite characters. (I am looking at you, Citan). But my ex girlfriend actually made me like the character-- even though she will probably go on about how I never really liked Fei, I did-- I just wasn't as effusive about it as I am about my all time favorite characters. (I cannot even say that I feel this way about Yuri from Tales of Vesperia, as I approached him from a neutral standpoint as I hadn't played the game before my ex-girlfriend)

So I looked at Fei and I was reminded of all the things that I didn't like about him-- and her.

This isn't healthy, I know--

And it isn't the characters fault-- I realize that, sometimes I guess it's just the memories that are caught up in that character that makes it harder to seperate character from person and it's just easier for me to use him as a personal effigy-- maybe one day I will let it go, after all, I am happy-- I am married to my best friend (for realz!) and while my work life leaves much to be desired-- I come home and have books to read, video games to play and a husband that understands that I need mental stimulation and so doesn't worry if I am on video games for hours at a time or will wander off to lounge in the bath and read a book-- he is understanding and doesn't want to put anything over my shine.

I am taking a break from fandom10in30 this round, I got my feet wet and got to challenge myself, however I can't spread myself too thin. (Also, Project Octopath Traveler for the win, such a great game!)

Comments

[dorchadas]

I feel the same about Warcraft lately. It's so bound up in the time I played World of Warcraft with someone else that even though it's one of my favorite fictional universes, it's really hard to engage with and all those Warcraft icons I have mostly go unused.

[alwaysbeenasmiler]

Yeah, I hate when that happens-- luckily I didn't play a bunch of MMOs with any signficant others-- else I probably would never enjoy the various online games I still do-- I guess MMOs were an escape-- I play them with good friends, but not significant others.

Mine pretty much got tied in RPing with Significant other.

[breyzyyin]

I think that's totally normal though! We sometimes have certain things (or, in this case, characters) attached to our memories of certain people/events, and if those memories are painful/negative, it can be hard to enjoy the things that we associate with those certain people/events. What you're describing makes total sense. *hugs* ♥

~Your husband sounds awesome though and I a so glad you're married to your best friend and that he totally understands your need to have that mental stimulation/down time. XD

[alwaysbeenasmiler]

Awww I love your keith icon!

And yeah, I just have quite a few characters tied up in people-- and there have been breaks, and then it's just-- I guess hard.

I guess the mature thing is recognizing that I still have issues with that character instead of finding a passive agressive song to attach to that icon-- (which I totally thought of doing..)

[ai]

I think that's a perfectly normal thing to have happened with a character. It's hard to detach memories with certain characters, but perhaps someday in the future, you will change your mind.

This happens to me with a couple of characters, I'll admit, so I want to believe it's a natural thing that occurs.

[alwaysbeenasmiler]

I have had that same issue with Nooj from FFX-2; except I will probably never get over that one; it was so emotionally scarring that I can't even look at the game much less the character. An ex was super crazy and thought she was Otakukin of Nooj, I mean I get that when you RP characters, you tend to see little pieces of yourself in them, I've been known to do that-- she however, she took the cake.

[ai]

Ahh, that's always scary when you run into someone like that. I don't blame you for the way you feel after encountering that sort of situation.