: End of May-- Ask Me Anything! :

[alwaysbeenasmiler]

Heya everyone! As we near the end of May, I am going to open up the floor for an ASK ME ANYTHING.

Anything you are remotely curious about-- involving fandom, RL, favorite characters, songs, pairings, hobbies-- my life is an open book. I will answer it to the best of my knowledge-- And hey! Do the same in your journal, so myself and your friends can ask you questions! Let's get to know each other-- everyone!

Comments

[bonnefois]

Hey, thanks for sharing your story. I hadn't heard as much as the (rather gross!) side of men being creepy like that, (though it makes sense considering bi women have a 65% abuse ratio and the whole gross fetishizing f/f relationships and etc) but I'd heard a lot of "all my lesbian friends basically disowned me as a traitor and now I can't go anywhere in the LGBT+ community without feeling like a pariah" stories.

Considering that I've dated nothing but bi girls since changing orientations (not by design, just that's who was interested in me) and my friends are mostly bi, plus I'm not really out to anyone I know who was straight, I didn't have much change in that regard.

Probably the biggest change for me (and hardest aspect) was when I changed, I began to realize some of the uglier sides of the LGBT+ community that I hadn't seen before. That's what I'm personally dealing with most of all, and the biggest mourning point for me. I've actually had to pull out of some parts of fandom and LGBT+ areas because they're filled with a rather hostile sub group of lesbian or gay people who hate other parts of the LGBT+ very vocally, and it was really harming my mental health.

It's kind of hard to talk about because that same vocal sub group will call any kind of criticism homophobia. I've even had to see the jar-droppingly awful thing of a gay black man calling out racism in the LGBT+ community, only to be accused of homophobia and many white gay men wishing homophobic violence on him, and seen it with white lesbians talking about things like racism/biphobia/transphobia in the LGBT+ community and getting tons of bully and "you just hate lesbians!" in response, to an open lesbian.

I feel really "get off my side!" a lot of the time these days.

[alwaysbeenasmiler]

Oh gods, I am so sorry you had to see that-- honestly I have no words. I never really was a part of any LGBT+-group when I was a lesbian-- so I really didn't focus on the group as individual subgroups, but it makes sense that there would be division amongst them. But I am glad that you were able to divorce/distance yourself from the negative parts of the group, especially when you take in account, that the LGBT+ group should always be about inclusion and acceptance. In a world where that group is rained down upon with violence/hate/bigotry, I cannot see where one would want to have division within it's ranks, but rather all banding together for a common goal, and that is to fight outside hate and homophobia

I think that is the one thing I love about my boyfriend, he is muslim but he is accepting of the LGBT group, him and all of his muslim friends are very accepting and loving to all groups of people-- he has a Fairness Org bumper on his sticker just as I do. He told me it is because he knows what it feels like to be villified and marginalized.

*hugs* Well you know, if you ever need to talk-- I'm down and my ear is always open to you! After all we've been friends for a VERY LONG TIME!

[bonnefois]

Well, I'm trying and I'm still kind of bitter. Right now I'm just kind of hanging on my own and avoiding most LGBT spaces and just focusing on myself. One day I won't be angry about everything that happened, but it's going to take a lot of time to get there. So I'm just healing.

My current gf is so anti-social I doubt things like being treated poorly at pride would be a problem considering she never wants to go out and be near people, lol.

I'm glad you found someone who you really click with! He sounds very nice. We've been livejournal/DW friends long enough that I remember some more trying times for you, so it's good to see happier times.