Hey, thanks for sharing your story. I hadn't heard as much as the (rather gross!) side of men being creepy like that, (though it makes sense considering bi women have a 65% abuse ratio and the whole gross fetishizing f/f relationships and etc) but I'd heard a lot of "all my lesbian friends basically disowned me as a traitor and now I can't go anywhere in the LGBT+ community without feeling like a pariah" stories.
Considering that I've dated nothing but bi girls since changing orientations (not by design, just that's who was interested in me) and my friends are mostly bi, plus I'm not really out to anyone I know who was straight, I didn't have much change in that regard.
Probably the biggest change for me (and hardest aspect) was when I changed, I began to realize some of the uglier sides of the LGBT+ community that I hadn't seen before. That's what I'm personally dealing with most of all, and the biggest mourning point for me. I've actually had to pull out of some parts of fandom and LGBT+ areas because they're filled with a rather hostile sub group of lesbian or gay people who hate other parts of the LGBT+ very vocally, and it was really harming my mental health.
It's kind of hard to talk about because that same vocal sub group will call any kind of criticism homophobia. I've even had to see the jar-droppingly awful thing of a gay black man calling out racism in the LGBT+ community, only to be accused of homophobia and many white gay men wishing homophobic violence on him, and seen it with white lesbians talking about things like racism/biphobia/transphobia in the LGBT+ community and getting tons of bully and "you just hate lesbians!" in response, to an open lesbian.
I feel really "get off my side!" a lot of the time these days.
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ninetydegrees
(no subject)
31/5/17 11:52 (UTC)Considering that I've dated nothing but bi girls since changing orientations (not by design, just that's who was interested in me) and my friends are mostly bi, plus I'm not really out to anyone I know who was straight, I didn't have much change in that regard.
Probably the biggest change for me (and hardest aspect) was when I changed, I began to realize some of the uglier sides of the LGBT+ community that I hadn't seen before. That's what I'm personally dealing with most of all, and the biggest mourning point for me. I've actually had to pull out of some parts of fandom and LGBT+ areas because they're filled with a rather hostile sub group of lesbian or gay people who hate other parts of the LGBT+ very vocally, and it was really harming my mental health.
It's kind of hard to talk about because that same vocal sub group will call any kind of criticism homophobia. I've even had to see the jar-droppingly awful thing of a gay black man calling out racism in the LGBT+ community, only to be accused of homophobia and many white gay men wishing homophobic violence on him, and seen it with white lesbians talking about things like racism/biphobia/transphobia in the LGBT+ community and getting tons of bully and "you just hate lesbians!" in response, to an open lesbian.
I feel really "get off my side!" a lot of the time these days.