That was awesome of you to share, and I'd like to weigh in if I may. Although I stand firmly in the "please don't label me" camp when it comes to gender and sexuality, I tend to flutter between bi and ace, I think, and I'm willing to bet my medication/mental illness has a strong hand in it, because right now I'm so sexually dead inside, but I have been fiercely attracted to both men and women in my life, moreso when I was a teenager than anything.
I do feel guilt at times, because on the surface I appear to be straight, but I get so anxious discussing sexuality IRL that I avoid it outright. If someone tells me that I'm straight, or that I'm a lesbian, I find that those are the only two labels I can refute as bad fits for me, but I won't argue with bi, pan, demi, or ace. As for gender, I'm fine with female or neutral pronouns. I feel like I'm the type of person that can attract both sexes equally, but I'm marrying a guy, not because he's a guy, but because he's a friend I've connected with very deeply.
Also, there are times I feel like I can't define my sexuality clearly because I've never had a relationship with another female beyond friendship. I've never even kissed one. I've been attracted to them, but I never went for it. I don't regret it, though, because I'm very prickly about dating and meeting new people (VERY introverted IRL), so that had a big hand in it.
my dad who's been on the record saying that I am straight again-- nope; he doesn't get to say that.
I think I can understand that. When I was in high school, my mom pushed me a bit to come out as a lesbian under "it's all right if you are, I support you", which I was not and never was, though in a way I still appreciate the sentiment and know I'd be lucky for it if I was a lesbian. She thought this because I was part of the GSA and felt very passionately about LGBT+ issues, and I still do today. Still, she's a Baby Boomer. It's impressive she even acknowledges that gay and lesbian is a thing. She vaguely acknowledges that trans is a thing, but I think she mixes it up with gay/lesbian still. I don't think she knows that bi is a thing, though, and sometimes I wonder what she makes of the fact that I've been with my SO for six years and not once have I gotten pregnant, or even risked becoming pregnant (ace leaning + vaginismus = so much no right now.)
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ninetydegrees
(no subject)
30/5/17 15:03 (UTC)I do feel guilt at times, because on the surface I appear to be straight, but I get so anxious discussing sexuality IRL that I avoid it outright. If someone tells me that I'm straight, or that I'm a lesbian, I find that those are the only two labels I can refute as bad fits for me, but I won't argue with bi, pan, demi, or ace. As for gender, I'm fine with female or neutral pronouns. I feel like I'm the type of person that can attract both sexes equally, but I'm marrying a guy, not because he's a guy, but because he's a friend I've connected with very deeply.
Also, there are times I feel like I can't define my sexuality clearly because I've never had a relationship with another female beyond friendship. I've never even kissed one. I've been attracted to them, but I never went for it. I don't regret it, though, because I'm very prickly about dating and meeting new people (VERY introverted IRL), so that had a big hand in it.
my dad who's been on the record saying that I am straight again-- nope; he doesn't get to say that.
I think I can understand that. When I was in high school, my mom pushed me a bit to come out as a lesbian under "it's all right if you are, I support you", which I was not and never was, though in a way I still appreciate the sentiment and know I'd be lucky for it if I was a lesbian. She thought this because I was part of the GSA and felt very passionately about LGBT+ issues, and I still do today. Still, she's a Baby Boomer. It's impressive she even acknowledges that gay and lesbian is a thing. She vaguely acknowledges that trans is a thing, but I think she mixes it up with gay/lesbian still. I don't think she knows that bi is a thing, though, and sometimes I wonder what she makes of the fact that I've been with my SO for six years and not once have I gotten pregnant, or even risked becoming pregnant (ace leaning + vaginismus = so much no right now.)