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22/8/18 10:44I always use my Ukitake icon when I'm feeling under the weather-- probably because I fondly refer to him as "Captain Consumption".
I've been a complete and utter flake, I've not responded to a lot of messages-- both on facebook and here because in all honestly, being sick and then the onset of anxiety/depression combo where I just don't want to do anything and I'm critically worried about fucking everything up at work. Of course I shouldn't worry about that because there are legions of people who critically fuck up every single day but none of them are as hard on themselves as I am.. I who realize I shouldn't be a complete and utter failure.
This weekend will likely a 'watching Trashy Versailles on Netflix and Playing Endless Rounds of FFXIV' (if you are on the Aether data center, I will probably be online-- and may put up a party so that anyone can find me lol) I just hate that I woke up with my throat feeling like trash, and now all I want is a grilled cheese. JUST ONE GRILLED CHEESE. That and tomato soup may not make me well but it'd make me happy--
'Paris' is escaping Order Control, she got offered a job and honestly-- good for her, it means none of us are going to have to listen to her complain. Though it means we are going to have ANOTHER untrained Order Control personnel and it's going to probbaly largely fall on me to train her. (another tick in the anxiety cog) however I've already stated that if they try to pawn off cage and vault onto me, I. AM. GIVING. TWO. WEEKS. NOTICE.
No ifs, ands or buts about it.
That will kill me if I have to adopt that responsibility and I need to do what is right for myself. And once I'm emmeshed in that shit, I don't think there's any coming back from that. It's like, by that time I will make sure I'm fired so totally and completely that they will never want me to come back-- ever.
So yes, there's that.
Once again my apologies... hopefully i'll be better in a week.
I've been a complete and utter flake, I've not responded to a lot of messages-- both on facebook and here because in all honestly, being sick and then the onset of anxiety/depression combo where I just don't want to do anything and I'm critically worried about fucking everything up at work. Of course I shouldn't worry about that because there are legions of people who critically fuck up every single day but none of them are as hard on themselves as I am.. I who realize I shouldn't be a complete and utter failure.
This weekend will likely a 'watching Trashy Versailles on Netflix and Playing Endless Rounds of FFXIV' (if you are on the Aether data center, I will probably be online-- and may put up a party so that anyone can find me lol) I just hate that I woke up with my throat feeling like trash, and now all I want is a grilled cheese. JUST ONE GRILLED CHEESE. That and tomato soup may not make me well but it'd make me happy--
'Paris' is escaping Order Control, she got offered a job and honestly-- good for her, it means none of us are going to have to listen to her complain. Though it means we are going to have ANOTHER untrained Order Control personnel and it's going to probbaly largely fall on me to train her. (another tick in the anxiety cog) however I've already stated that if they try to pawn off cage and vault onto me, I. AM. GIVING. TWO. WEEKS. NOTICE.
No ifs, ands or buts about it.
That will kill me if I have to adopt that responsibility and I need to do what is right for myself. And once I'm emmeshed in that shit, I don't think there's any coming back from that. It's like, by that time I will make sure I'm fired so totally and completely that they will never want me to come back-- ever.
So yes, there's that.
Once again my apologies... hopefully i'll be better in a week.