It's not really an "oh noes 30 I'm oooooolllldddd" thing and more of an "oh god I haven't done anything with my life" thing. Which is maybe the same thing in different clothes. It's the main reason I have avoided everyone from my school days (both HS and uni), because I was full of ~potential~ and then depression kicked my ass and now I'm here, almost 30, still depressed, and basically a shut-in. Oops?
I can feel that. Being a wunderkind is kind of a mixed bag -- it's awesome, in that you have the capacity, but also you have the capacity, so you're expected to Do Big Things. I constantly feel like all the people who were like, "OH MY GOD YOU'LL DO AMAZING THINGS" are super disappointed by my life and inability to remain financially solvent (AHAHA, oh dear). Then I have to think: well, there's time left, yes? Meeting little goals helps. Also remembering that you answer to no one but yourself. (Though I fail at that most of the time.)
(no subject)
21/3/19 18:55 (UTC)(no subject)
21/3/19 20:03 (UTC)