Feb. 9th, 2017

alwaysbeenasmiler: (Raven/Alexei♥So everybody lives and)
I click the random button and I get this! Will wonders never cease!

Last night I woke up at around 3 AM due to heart palpitations. I mean they were pretty serious or so I thought-- and I felt dizzy and short of breath and I felt like I was going to pass out if I didn't get to the ER fast. So I drove myself there (Yes, even I too want to avoid an unnecessary ambulance bill) and so I got there and then they took pictures of my heart, they monitored my vitals until I got back down to around 83 (when I arrived, my heartbeat was 117).

But the doctor was like "All the tests were good, Do you suffer from anxiety". and I was like, "No.. I don't think so-- generally I am a very positive person"

But then after going home, getting some sleep and then waking up-- I think that maybe I have recently developed anxiety. I don't want to think that any one thing helped it along, certainly it isn't my relationship life since I could never be more happy with Owen. But maybe, I am just anxious about the state of the world-- I remember on election night going to sleep with a heavy heart, and then waking up to my heart racing. I checked my phone and sure enough, there was something that I didn't want to happen--

And I thought to myself-- maybe that with the sheer shittiness that was 2016 might have contributed it, with me thinking that something 'must' be lurking around the bend or over my shoulder. I remember waking up to a racing heart maybe around the first of january but I was able to calm myself to go back to sleep-- in spurts.

Does anyone have anxiety? I am so at a lost here, I don't even understand it-- what do you guys do to cope?


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