alwaysbeenasmiler: (Laguna☆We became the parade)
 photo lagunabanner.png

"When it's night, I like to be the light that's missing,
And remind you every minute that the future isn't written..not yet."

-"Everything is Sound" by Jason Mraz
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Shion/Mion♥We will meet you where)
I have so much adulting to do beginning friday-- it's not even funny. But I have put in the reservation for the uhaul on saturday the 24th. <3 I feel like I accomplished something. That just means once I get settled, and I am able to play Stormblood, I will find a supreme sense of satisfaction. Awww yeah!
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Asbel☆I don't know where to start)
FFX-2 is a really tricky thing for me, I loved the game when I first played it. But somewhere a long the way, things happened and drama exploded and it was just a series that I buried-- dead and gone. People that I associated with the game, things that I was reminded of. Never in the life of Nia have I ever had a breakup that justified me deciding that an entire game was dead and buried. (7 year relationship that at it's basis was Xenogears, nope-- still love that game and won't give it up even though I am not gung-ho fanatical about it at this stage in my life). But there was this girl, this psychotic girl who called herself the "Deathseeker" and I fell in with her brand of psychoticness. I don't even know how bad it went since it was one of those LONG DISTANCE THINGS and I had no clue about her except what she told me.

But she went batshit crazy-- even faked her own death in order to get away from me (or something). Let me tell you, I have a low opinion of people who fake their own death especially online. (if somehow, you want an example of the sheer ammount of crazy-- here is her HI I AM NOT DEAD SUCKERS letter to the world. I can't even begin to make up shit like that.

We RPed Baralai and Nooj, and let me tell you-- once that relationship was over and done with, I pretty much shoved Baralai muse into an open coffin and shut it tightly, because it was a reminder of a weak point in my life. (and I must of been weak in order to have been so DUPED by that, blinded actually might be a better word). But today I was listening to my music while working and without thinking about it, I heard a song and went "That's Baralai to a T"

Which surprised the ever loving fuck out of me and caused me to re-evaluate my life. And I thought to myself-- is it possible that perhaps I have gotten over that travesty, I've finally reached a point where those memories are just stupid and idiotic? I was 24 at the time and I think perhaps the statue of limitations has gone up over that, but it left me relieved, not because I thought about a character that I had buried but because well-- there's just something cleansing about being able to think about something that previous-to had been able to bring putrid bile to the back of my throat and go, "Well okay, I think I can think about that now and just feel nostalgia-- no revulsion, nothing"

So perhaps I may make an icon, a sort of little remembrance of him, but I don't know-- it's just nice to have a nice little piece of clarity in the here and now.

On an un-related note-- OWEN AND I CLOSE ON OUR HOUSE ON THE 23rd!!! Which means that for a few weeks, I'll probably be without internet, which is all fine and good, I'll be busy anyways! But yes, super excited to move into our home and I will be able to pester Owen ALL THE TIME! (he's so happy lol)
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Raven/Alexei♥So everybody lives and)
Now, due to this meme-- y'all are gonna see how varied my music taste truly is

9. A Song that makes you happy

"Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson feat Bruno Mars



Okay, to clarify-- I am not a big Bruno Mars fan. Well not his romantic lovely dovey stuff (my boyfriend is a fan of Bruno Mars stuff that is silly and sappy and sentimental), but I really like his baller/jazz gangster stuff, and this has got to be one of the catchiest songs that I've ever hard. Insidious-- it gets in your head so easily and so I can't help but like it (I also really like 24K Magic and have been known to jam to that). Give me money, a swagger beat and none of this 'knocked out of heaven' bullcrap. When I sing this, I feel like a pimpin' gangsta and I seriously need to be driving a mazzarati or something a long those lines. don't judge me

The Music List )
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Nikkari☆You can't lead me close)
Now, due to this meme-- y'all are gonna see how varied my music taste truly is

8. A Song that reminds you of someone you love

"I Don't Wanna Be" by Gaven Degraw



Oh gods, this reminds me of my boyfriend so much. Perhaps because for the longest time, he had the "One Tree Hill" theme song as his theme song, yes-- because of him I watched all of One Tree Hill, and I enjoyed every single part of it. Last year we also went to where One Tree Hill was filmed, Wilmington North Carolina (TONS OF FUN, got all the pictures of various places from the tv series). But this also just fits him, his personality when I first met him-- the cool quiet and mysterious guy who was just so chill and laid back (still can't believe that I nabbed him for my very own) and so when I hear this song-- I think of him and how much he means to me. You can say that this song always brings a smile to me!

The Music List )
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Asbel☆I don't know where to start)
Taken from [community profile] thefridayfive

1) What was the first recipe or food you learned how to cook?:

Chocolate Chip Cookies-- my grandmother's special recipe. It's written down of course, in an old cookbook-- with my grandmother's own notations (and how it makes it 'her' chocolate chip cookies). But it is there and I have people swear by these cookies. Whenever I say that I'm going to bring cookies in to work, people start salivating and trying to get me to make an 'extra' cookie for them. Favorites only get extra cookies, so if I don't like you, chances are you are not gonna get that covetous third cookie in your little cookie treat bag.

2) What recipe or food did you cook most recently?:

Homemade chicken noodle soup in the crockpot. I don't really like chicken noodle soup, I think it's pretty boring (but Owen love love LOVES it), so I made it and I added a little something, like a hint of cajun seasoning to it, to spicy it up. I thickened it up with heavy cream, and I add thick egg noddles and add rotisserie chicken to give it an earthy flavor. And so I have to admit, the soup is really really good-- so much that even I like it.

3) What recipe or food do you cook most often?:

It is a tie up, between Chicken Alfredo (something that Owen really likes) and grilled cheese (which I swear by, I am definitely a grilled cheeser!). But with the grilled cheese, I usually add mozz cheese as well as pickles, so that it makes it doubly yummy! <3

4) What is your favorite recipe?:

I have this shortbread recipe that I swear by Brown Sugar Shortbread; I love shortbread because it's not too sweet (and I am not excessively fond of an overabundance of sweet), but this recipe gets it right, definitely a christmas recipe though!

5) What is the recipe you make that impresses other people the most?

My grandmother made divinity-- for people who don't know what divinity is, it's this candy that looks like clouds of puff, but you bite into it and it almost melts into your mouth.



It is one of those treats that EVERYONE remembers their grandmother making but NO ONE knows how to make it. So whenever I bring in divinity during Christmas, they are like "WHERE DID YOU GET THIS MAGIC" in between bites of the sweet stuff (because seriously, divinity lovers are the types to be able to stuff five pieces of the stuff into their mouths CONSECUTIVELY.. don't see how they do it). And then they are suprised when they find out that I made it myself, because it's an inherently difficult thing to make (the stars have to align and you have to make some blood sacrifices for the stuff to turn out right, apparently)

Then after having my divinity, the people bug me all throughout the year so that I am sure to bring them some in next year (because do I look like a divinity factory? Yes, yes I do, according to them.)
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Peony/Jade♥No escaping when I)
Now, due to this meme-- y'all are gonna see how varied my music taste truly is

6. A Song to drive to

"Fallen Angel" by Aimee B



Oh gods, I have never seen the anime that it comes from-- but I heard it on 8tracks and I immediately fell in love with it. This song usually comes on while I'm driving home on the way from work, when it's night and there is that nighttime driving glow, a chill atmosphere especially after hectic days, so I have come to associate this song with nighttime driving, and I absolutely love it, what a gorgeous song and one that I strongly suggest everyone give a listen (well let's be fair, I suggest listening to everything that I post, but only because I sorta like my own music taste!) --> and yes, I have used this song for icons before, so it stars on the keywords of one of my icons. :)

The Music List )
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Nadashiko☆Yes when she glows)
I find it funny when people make secrets going "I CANNOT SEE WHY PEOPLE ARE OBSESSED WITH THIS THING, I THINK IT'S OKAY/CRAP BUT IT'S REALLY NO BIG DEAL'. Made a secret because people as a whole are really shitty and have blinders on when it comes to other people and likes/dislikes. There are many things that I CANNOT STAND. But I do not throw off the validity of them just because I do not like them, it just means that I probably won't ever talk to someone about it because I cannot stand the thing. Everyone should do what they like the best, and to hell with everyone else.

Made a secret because the person probably realizes that PEOPLE DO NOT CARE!

Do I have things I don't like? Of course! Who doesn't!

1.) Kingdom Hearts (the unholy marriage of squenix/disney-- and I neither like Sora, Riku, Kairi or Namine)
2.) The Walking Dead (Zombies are gross and disgusting, I have seen a few episodes and I just spent the entire time thinking that if the zombie apocalypse were to occur, you can just give me an ETHER SOAKED RAG PLEASE-- anything to take away the no doubt horrible smell away)
3.) Full Metal Alchemist (it wasn't the same for me when Hughes died-- he was my only reason for watching it)
4.) Transformers or Power Rangers (I shouldn't lump the two of them together but I do-- boyfriend loves Power Rangers though, but he went to see the movie without me... thank goodness! And Transformers was not my breakout into giant robots-- that was Xenogears)

Everyone is free to have likes and dislikes-- that is what makes people so fascinating, because they are all keyed up on different things-- what makes me enthusiastic, in another person it'd spur a sort of ambivalence, and vice versa)

--

On a RL note-- we are in the final stage of our home buying expirience, we should be closing on the 23rd, then the fun moving occurs and that is when I probably won't be online for a few weeks while Owen and I are getting everything ready for cohabitation. It's so exciting-- seller opted to make all the repairs we requested and it's gonna be so much fun! Woohoo! <3 But best part is that I'll be living with my best friend! (he'll have to drag me away from video games ever so often, but I think it'll be a fun expirience to live with Owen)

--

Music Meme!

Now, due to this meme-- y'all are gonna see how varied my music taste truly is

6. A Song that you like that has a positive message -

"You Belong to You" by Johnny Hates Jazz



Okay, so I veered-- this should of been "A song that makes you want to dance" but all my music makes me want to dance, so I decided that this was when I make this meme my own. This is personalized so to speak. This album by Johnny Hates Jazz is their current one (I seriously didn't know that it existed until a few years ago). Then I heard Magnetized and fell in love. Now, Johnny Hates Jazz is known for their classic song, "Shattered Dreams" but the lead singer is a notorious anti-war, pro native american rights, but I didn't quite realize what a feminist he was until I heard this song, but it makes so much sense-- this song is pretty much about how a woman doesn't belong to a man, no matter the relationship-- be it marriage or anything else. That love should be a guiding light, and freely given between both parties-- I have never heard such a positive message from a male singer, definitely a song that is worth the listening to!

The Music List )
alwaysbeenasmiler: lj user=fleshmaiden (Kefka☆I'm the fucking king of)
Now, due to this meme-- y'all are gonna see how varied my music taste truly is

2. A Song that needs to be played LOUD -

"Cry" by Sigma feat Take That



Okay, this song is off their latest album (well they released it before their album, but then the song was so good that they decided to make it available on the bonus content. Everyone should know that Take That is my favorite band, I absolutely love them and how diverse they have become. A song that I play loud is one that I usually really really like, so it would vary according to points in my life, like a few months ago I couldn't get enough of "Castle" by Halsey and that was the song that I played ad nauseum. (though I am gonna be honest, this song and Katy Perry's "Chained to the Rhythem" is in pretty stiff competition for playing it loud.)

The Music List )
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Rain☆Do we only live to die?)
Bath and Body Semi-Annual sale is on, for anyone who is about as obsessed with the smell goods as I am. I have a reputation to maintain and well they brought back my signature scent "Be Enchanted" for the sale. Which means that I bought two body lotions, a bubble bath and a spray. (I'm going to need a little place to put all my Bath and Body Works when we get the new place, like a little vanity table for the bathroom or something)

I am currently plowing my way through Trails of Cold Steel again, want to make icons but all inspiration has fled (feast or famine, everyone-- I either have tons of inspiration or I am literally scraping at the bottom, trying to find where it has gone). I thought about doing the friday five, but then I flaked out and was like "Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" maybe not. I think it's going to be a browse pinterest and play video games sort of day-- and maybe if I'm lucky, I'll make an icon.

(which reminds me, I hit my icon buyable limit-- so I'm at the max icon space of 500, 500 slots to fill and no inspiration to fill them-- boo)

I also want an icon of Zelgadis from Slayers-- I remember loving that show! Lina Inverse = Strong Woman, and then there was her guy, Gourry-- who was a big beef head. I think that maybe I should see if Owen would want to watch Slayers, I think he'd like it (He's a lot like Zelgadis)

Edit: Just decided to start Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans; let's see if I like it!

Edit2: I also am starting to read Immortal Rain; yeah-- my heart is breaking.
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Shinon☆Melancholy phantoms)
Now, due to this meme-- y'all are gonna see how varied my music taste truly is

2.A song that reminds you of summer -

Taste the Summer by Duran Duran



If I had to choose my favorite Duran Duran album, it'd probably be a tie between Astronaut and Red Carpet Massacre though All You Need Is Now had some GREAT b-sides (I am looking at you, Mediterannea). I am a pop fangirl (as I keep re-iterating) so those are great albums if you really like bouncy beats. (and the first one, Astronaut, such a positive album-- no heartbreak anthems, just good old fashioned pop). Hopefully this song reminds you of Summer! <3

So enjoy this song!

The Music List )
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Edward☆Maybe I should of known it)
Now, due to this meme-- y'all are gonna see how varied my music taste truly is

2.A song you like with a number in the title -

Army of Two by Olly Murs



Okay, this is more indicative of the brunt of my musical taste-- I have eclectic tastes but there is something about pop that just makes me happy. Olly Murs is who I discovered because of watching "X-Factor" and he was an occasional host (oh, there you go-- another subgroup of my pop love-- BritPop), so I found as much music as I could. There was this time that this song came on in a store-- and because it's not mainstream in america, I was like "OH MY GOD OLLY MURS!" and which my boyfriend looks at me like I'm crazy (but it isn't the crazy that he's scared of, just the one he's borderline used to.). Occasionally I will hear Keane playing on the speakers outside of the Gas Station I go to (which is the very reason why I frequent that gas station-- because of their stellar taste in music)

So enjoy this song!

The Music List )
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Zavied☆And if I only could make)
Now, due to this meme-- y'all are gonna see how varied my music taste truly is

1.) A Song you like with a colour in the title

Black Dog by Led Zeppelin



As far as music goes, I really like pop-- but there are a few rock songs that I really really like-- and you don't grow up in the household that I did without having respect for all the classic rock greats, like Led Zeppelin. (it's not my favorite Led Zeppelin song, but "Stairway to Heaven" doesn't have a colour in it.

The Music List )
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Yeul☆Summer disappears like a)
- Yeul (FFXII-2)
"Summer disappears like a dream I had; and winter comes with a knife and it cuts you down. [ Oh it never ends, it never ends ]"

I will never ever be able to recreate that icon, and it's probably one of my favorite icons to date-- just wit the feel, the angle, the little light circle that is very gently wrapped around Yuel, the cloud covering and how the colour blends in seamlessly with Yuel.



This entire icon, the song-- oh the song. This is an icon from another game that I really could not care less about, but I loved the Caius and Yuel side story, and the purpose and how he was trying to save her and how it paralleled Serah and Noel's story in a nutshell, I can't really say anymore then that-- but I think that Yuel's entire story is one of 'not being forgotten' and so the song, it really fits.

Man, I still wish I could recreate this icon.
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Sakura☆Sitting with the mortals and)
Heya everyone! As we near the end of May, I am going to open up the floor for an ASK ME ANYTHING.

Anything you are remotely curious about-- involving fandom, RL, favorite characters, songs, pairings, hobbies-- my life is an open book. I will answer it to the best of my knowledge-- And hey! Do the same in your journal, so myself and your friends can ask you questions! Let's get to know each other-- everyone!
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Laguna☆We became the parade)
So this is something new that I am gonna do-- I'm going to post one of my icons, and then sort of go on why I chose the song to be the basis of my icon; (since music inspires most of what I do in life-- and back when I RPed regularly, oh gods-- the music)

Default icon - - Laguna Loire | Final Fantasy VIII



Secret-- I actually dislike Final Fantasy VIII.

But you know, characters are important to me, and while playing the game I came soon across the saving grace of that game and one character who has remained one of my favorite characters of all time. I was immediately drawn to him because man, he was just unfailingly cheerful and good natured, albeit clumsy and a bit shy, but that was what made me love him, and the moment that Squall went "I dreamt I was an Idiot", well I just fell head over heels in love with him even more. Because of Laguna's integral placement in the game, I found myself playing through it-- I mean the only character in the main party that I really liked was Selphie (and maybe Edea as well-- because misunderstood villians)

When I created this icon, it was right when the Dissidia Duecodiem art came out, and I found out that Laguna was going to be in it. ICON AHOY! And the song came to me because I wanted something to sort of represent him, and this song really hit

"At least we meet on no man's land-- just footprints in the sand
We meet on no man's land, at last"


I mean I know that Squall accused Laguna of not being a great dad, but I believe without a shadow of a doubt that Laguna tried his hardest-- but situations spiralled out of control, and he had so much to do-- and responsibility just got thrust on him (as such is the case with all capricorns, responsibility hunts them down with a giant gun, shooting to kill). But this song, it's about forgiveness-- the eight letters, three words, one meaning stands for "I am sorry", and I truly believe that at the very end they were able to re-conciliate, and that makes me happy.

Perfect song for Laguna.
alwaysbeenasmiler: made by ?? (if you made this, speak up!) (Margaery☆Call all the ladies out--)
So I watched the first episode of Terrace House- Boys and Girls in the City, a japanese reality tv show; like the Real World-- but so much more polite. Then I was like "Owen has to watch it", because he loves reality t.v and I thought that he'd be amused.

I showed him the first episode--- and soon one episode turned into three, and then into 9 before he had to leave, it successfully made him NOT think about his fasting for Ramadan (which he survived the first day of, I know my boyfriend is very strong but I still feel guilty about consuming food and drink in front of him, not because I think he will cave but as a respect to his religion).

Seriously, because it's so calm-- I think that makes the series even show even more fucked up. Like what happens at Blue Note with Yuriko and Yuki, That was so very messed up in it's entirety. then at the end of it, I asked him if he was addicted-- he smiled sheepishly and said "yeah--". So now I have to watch it with him-- it's a whole bunch of drama llama-- and the commentary is actually pretty refreshing. But I love their level of scandalized, so much that I wonder how they'd react to Jersey Shore. (oh gods, "fast horrified japanese talking* DTF *fast horrified japanese talking* SITUATION *fast horrified japanese talking blah blah* SNOOKIE")

If anyone ever wondered how easy it is for me to fall into random series-- well there's your answer, it obviously takes the time it takes me to read a simple post about a japanese version of The Real World-- so approximately five minutes.
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Rena☆Here we come now)
[community profile] icontalking

A really fun challenge community that is more of a 'personal' challenge type thing (since there is no voting); it's just make the icons to fit the theme and then submit and after a month, all the icons get posted and people can ooh and ahh over there! If you're interested in making icons but you aren't interested in competing, that is a great community!
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Adol☆When I look into your eyes)
I have this unspoken rule that if I don't know the fandom-- I can't use the icon; even if I made it for someone.

THIS icon right here made me go and find myself a game in the Ys series-- Memories of Celceta (Thank you so much [personal profile] batman for inspiring me to pick up the game). So far I like, I forgot how to play Action RPGs but it's refreshing! I sucked at the first boss-- but I'm hoping with time I'll get better!

I honestly think that this is the best icon I've ever made, it just is perfect in so many ways-- I stare at it in awe and I don't even know how it happened-- I am thinking that I might not of been in my right mind because it's hard to think something like that could come out of me. Seriously, I can't even.

Also, thank you all for the kind words you've spoken to me; with my work situation or with icons-- I appreciate all those words. I don't participate in a lot of fandoms and my DW is pretty much a way for me to take all the stress I am feeling and get it out in the open (and harness some creativity), and comments are not required but they are very much appreciated! Y'all rock!
alwaysbeenasmiler: (Halle☆Got a secret-- can you keep)
I had never left work so angry-- (but I didn't post it last night, because I needed to channel my anger into something productive, and hence the icons that I made) I am not angry now, but it may come back if I have to look at dumbfucks mug.

It was a busy day-- I had to do the ferring line (that has to do with estrogen medicines, and progesterone-- all of those ladybit chemicals) and it is especially busy on Wednesday. Well I rocked out close to 13,000 units throughout the day (give or take a hundred, who knows) and I didn't get done until 8 pm (after having worked on that line since 11:30), so afterwards I take myself off to the desk to count then I get on the white golf cart since I have to go to the back to count stuff in the freezer.

*side note: first time I've driven the golf cart, so I was marveling about how wonderful it was-- it was a fairly joyless day so ANY simple pleasure I can take

Well I drive past the lines, going 'wheeee' loudly, so I didn't hear what was said. I say, "What the fuck, I earned this ride" so I took a few victory laps around the bins.

Then I park the golf cart, give it a pat and then head over to give my counts to Cheryl and Owen.

Only to be told by both Cheryl and Owen that when I was driving past, Michael StalSHIT said "Get to work"

They have no reason to lie to me, and being that I know PERSONALLY what a fucking pathological liar he is-- I know immediately that what they said was true.

So I go on a rampage, I can't believe that the King of Slowasses told ME to get to work, especially since at my slowest work pace, I am STILL faster then him. I am loud and I am not hiding the fact that I am completely and totally furious, because he needs to BUTT out of my life and focus on his own work; but hey-- maybe he wouldn't take those 20 min bathroom breaks every two hours (in addiction to regular break) if he didn't keep his CELLPHONE in his pocket the entire time-- hey nothing more fun then facebook on the shitter at work!

He comes up to me and vehemently denies saying it--- but I know him and I don't believe him for a second-- then I tell him to get out of my face. Michael refuses, insisting that he didn't say anything. That is when Owen says "Drop it"-- I mean, I have never heard my boyfriend sound so very menacing. Michael continued to, he wasn't stopping-- and Owen kept saying "Leave her alone" and "drop it". I believe without a shadow of a doubt if Supervisor Mike hadn't come by when he did-- there would of been a 5 ft 6 guy completely jumping and beating the shit out of a six foot dude, seriously-- my boyfriend was pissed and looked like he was about ready to go to war for me.

Since I was a bit frightened that Michael was going to be at my car-- Owen, Cheryl and I went to go talk to Cindy. Michael hung around away from us a little bit but then he gave up and went out to his own car to go home. And when I walked out with Owen, Michael did the first wise thing that I think he's ever done-- he actually left. Oh, I know he wanted to pursue the matter but I wanted to have nothing to do with him, I'd rather just ignore his existence like I usually do.

To all you who read through this; thank you-- I know it was long and somewhat negative. (You can also see why I just wanted the icon love last night)

On a happy note-- it's my friday! woohoo!

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